If you’re truly a dude, then you’ve felt this pain:
An unbelievable hottie walks by you at the gym, making eye contact with you as you pass. She looks like your dream girl, and you’d love to say hi, but you tell yourself, “Nah, she doesn’t want to be bothered at the gym.”
Or, you’re at the grocery store, and a really smoking girl with a fantastic body makes eye contact with you in the bread aisle. She obviously is showing signs of interest in you, but you find yourself pausing, then walking on, red-faced and flustered.
Regretting your cowardice almost immediately, you go back to “accidentally” bump into her again, but she’s already checking out and leaving.
Once again, you screwed up a chance to meet a beautiful woman!
Once again, you’ll go home by yourself with no girlfriend, no dating life to speak of, phone numbers, no prospects, and definitely no hot and heavy sex life.
But I’m not judging you or trying to make yourself feel bad because I did the same thing for years – always stuttering and sputtering and tripping all over myself whenever there was even a hint of an opportunity to talk to a pretty girl.
And then, I realized something that changed my life: it wasn’t going to happen by itself. I was waiting for fate or accident or cosmic intervention to interceded and join me with the perfect girlfriend. But it just doesn’t work that way in real life – you have to show some balls and make it happen yourself.
And that takes courage and practice and work and embarrassment and quite a lot of humiliation. I hit the books, read articles on human interaction and social skills, watched instructional videos, and talked to a lot of my girl-friends.
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But, just like practicing any skill, you soon realize that you’re making vast improvement, and it doesn’t feel so strange and scary and unfamiliar anymore. Soon, you are downright giddy when you do the impossible – walk cold up to a beautiful woman and start a conversation. Guess what? You’ll actually be successful more and more, too!
Since my epiphany and life-changing transformation with the fairer sex, I’ve helped hundreds or even thousands of guys do exactly the same.
And no matter how smart, composed, and charming you may be, you probably melt into a bowl of uncharming gibberish when a desirable woman walks into your periphery.
So why does your brain betray you the moment there’s an opening to meet a hot chica.
The fundamental problem is that we’re counting on our brains to think logically in a social situation when it’s overcome by
We try to think of; the smoothest excuse to walk up and meet a girl; the perfect thing to say; and exact combination of guile, smiles, and witty conversation to get her eating out of our palms. But in real life, it never works that way.
Why?
For one, our minds just aren’t hardwired that way. In fact, the human brain is limited to processing approximately, 2,000 individual external cues and stimuli per second.
That may sound like a lot of information we can take in, but that includes absolutely everything in your immediate environment – including everything you see, all of the sounds around you, the sensations like the feeling of your clothes, the wind, the air temperature, etc.
You’re also receiving hundreds of non-verbal cues (and hopefully a few verbal ones!) from the woman you’re approaching and trying to attract.
As you can now see, you’re completely barraged by all of these variables – far too much for you to just “wing it” or come up with an amazing introduction “on the fly.”
Your brain just literally can’t process all of these elements, so it turns to mush.
So What’s the Solution?
Get in the flow. Work with the vibe. Feel the energy. Use that Jedi mind shit.
You may think I’m joking, but those are just descriptions for when someone taps into their subconscious, operating on a much more flowing level than using their logical brain only.
That’s also the key to operate like a superstar in any social situation when there’s so much give and take happening so quickly that it’s impossible to “think” your way through it (successfully).
In fact, your subconscious operates about 2 million times faster than your conscious brain, which barely chugs along comparatively. Think of it like this: your mind is like a super computer, but your subconscious is like every website in the world operating at the same time.
So how can you shut off your mind and open up your subconscious when you’re trying to woo a pretty woman? I have a whole lot of advice and training for you, but here are some general tips to get you started:
- There’s no substitute for action.
Before you can run (or be a suave, lady-killing Casanova), you have to walk – and that means taking action. In fact, smart and incremental action is the antidote to all of your nerves, anxieties, and blanking out with women. There’s absolutely no substitute for taking action, which equates to practice, hard work, being out of your comfort zone, energy, and, eventually, momentum towards your goal – being able to talk to approach any woman at any time anywhere and have a good shot of engaging her.
- Empowering self-talk and other tactics.
In your mind, there is very little difference between neurological impulses that are real and those that are either imagined, assumed, or perceived. For instance, about 98% of our fears and anxieties stem from things THAT HAVEN’T HAPPENED YET! The good news is that you can also train your mind to feel more comfortable, slow down, relax, and be smoother with the intimidating task of trying to go from zero to hero with a beautiful woman. Self-talk, using empowering language, and positive or calming mantras can all help.
- So you’ll never be a verbal snake charmer? Don’t dismay, because research shows that it’s really not what you say that’s impactful to a woman, but HOW you say it. Your actual words will matter very little, but your confidence, tone, eye contact, posture, and hundreds of other non-verbals will speak volumes to a woman. So forget trying to come up with that slick opening pick-up line – and focus on being as relaxed and genuine as if you were talking to your best friend.
- The secret to picking up women? There’s no secret.
No matter who you are, what you look like, or how smooth you are, you’re still going to win some and lose some. Approaching and talking to women is a number’s game, but you have to get off the bench and get plenty of at-bats to have any chance of developing competency.
The reality is that women know within fractions of a second if they’re attracted to a guy, or at least intrigued. Likewise, over the first 30 seconds or so of talking to a guy, she’s assembling about 10,000 subtle data points about him, forming a general assessment about him that’s about 76% accurate, according to studies.
- Focus on what you can control
All of these internal factors are great but they’re a work in progress. So how else can you directly and significantly impact the things that you can control? Focus on your appearance. Work out more. Play sports. Get outside and some sun. Wear a nice cologne. Make eye contact. Stand up straight. Smile more. Get a new haircut, shop for some nice new clothes, and carry yourself and speaking up to the man you want to be. Focus on being health, physically and mentally. The happier and healthier you feel, the more it will come out on the outside, and women will instantly and intrinsically perceive you as a possible partner.
Bonus tip: What’s the incredibly powerful hack to practicing being more comfortable and confident with the ladies?
Ok, I get it – even if you could overcome your knee-shaking trepidation and start walking up to random beautiful women and asking them out, it’s no fun being shot down again and again (and maybe even pepper sprayed!). So this is a GREAT way to get started – earning invaluable practice without breaking your face you fall on it so hard.
Just talk to them as friends. Seriously, try to just talk to 10 women a day, but not as their conquering sexual hero but just as their friend or equal. Put it in your mind that you’re NOT trying to get a phone number or a date, but your goal is just to chat with them.
Think about it like you were happily married to (insert name of your favorite lusty super model) but you’re just a friendly guy so you like chatting to women and being social. You’ll be amazed at how much it takes the pressure off and you can be your funny, light-hearted, casual self – and women will respond!
Now, if you want to meet “horny women” check out the links below: (Just watch out for catfishing.)
