First: whatever shame you might still have about dating online, throw it out the window. As in, right now, gentlemen. We realize that a lot of people still scoff at the idea of meeting someone that way, and that a man in his prime might get called immature, shallow, or worse – especially if you are economically stable, and even more so if you are divorced, widowed, or a bachelor.
Forget those folks. Online dating is legit and you have the right to go for it an any point in life. That said, setting yourself up on the dating media, and actually getting somewhere with it, without getting labeled something ugly, can be a tricky thing to navigate. And so, we went to the women of these circles and asked them what makes a man more likely to get a fair chance.
Be honest with yourself
You will hear a lot of people complaining about liars on the internet, dishonest date candidates and whatnot. Assuming you are not unlucky enough to come across some freak woman (or man!), most of these complaints stem from simple misunderstandings.
So, before you make a profile, figure out what you want. What will you have the time for, considering your current lifestyle? For example, you may love to travel, but would you really be able to? Do you have a nine-to-five job? Are you a parent, is there an ex-spouse you need to take into your calculations? Are you looking for a new marriage?
What about your own emotional state? Are you sure you are ready for a new relationship? And are you sure you want a serious, committed one? Maybe it would be better if you just looked for some casual fun? All of these things are something you have to seriously consider.
Figure out what you want to achieve, what exactly you are looking for, and most importantly – what will you, yourself, be bringing into that new relationship. Make sure to assess both the good and the bad that you will be contributing (even unconsciously). Once you have a grip on that stuff, you can pick a website or appand start building a profile. You can click here for a handy list of places to try out.
General types of relationships
Once you have your dating profile, netiquette requires that you state what kind of relationship you are looking for. There can be said to be a few basic types, so being clear about it will save you time on unsuitable candidates.
Maybe you are just looking to chat with people without starting anything. This is fairly common, and perfectly fine. Let nobody bully you into a date if you are not ready to swim the dating ocean just yet, but be upfront about it more or less soon. Nobody likes having their time wasted.
Likewise, it is perfectly fine if you are just looking to hook up a few times for fun (or even looking to establish a stable “friends with benefits” situation). In that case, make sure to state it openly, and provide some info such as height, weight, and recent photos (shirtless or relatively sexy stuff will generally be appreciated).
You may be looking for a short term relationship, or a long term one, or just looking for friends (never fear, you will not be alone, even if it is a dating site), or you may still be not quite sure of what you want.
Now, none of these need to be explicitly included in your profile info (with the obligatory exception of FWB/ hookup preferences), but you need to clear the air around it as soon as possible once you start chatting. Spare both parties major headaches down the road.
Basic profile setup
Finally, on to concrete steps! So, obviously, your profile picture is first up. A clear-cut photo of your face and upper torso (a little below the shoulders) is always a good start. Definitely steer clear of anything that obscures your face, such as sunglasses, wide-brimmed hats, baseball caps, and so on. It makes you look insecure at best, or untrustworthy and predatorial at worst.
Also, for the love of everything, do not put a fish in your profile picture. Even if you have a passion for the sport, keep it out of your dating ID.
The rest of your gallery is really up to you to curate, but consider including some classic pieces. These mean a photo with a smile (yes, really, and forget about faking it!), one of your whole body, and whatever is “serious” in your style. Suits and tuxedoes are always a hit!
Also, other persons in your pictures tend to be too confusing and therefore repulsive. Especially keep away from outdated content, shots of children, or unspecified women. Nobody is going to believe that they are your cousins even if they are. Promote yourself only. If you need some tips on how to bump up your selfie game, check out this useful link.
Believe it or not, you need not bother with especially clever and witty profile descriptions. Just be frank and play to your own strengths. Hobbies, travels, or culinary favorites are always more enticing than generic lines or limericks from the web.
Manage your expectations
This is your final survival tip: identify what you expect, and then lower it into the dust. Seriously. Unless you are looking to be a sugar daddy type, realize that middle-aged women think radically differently from twenty-somethings. Their own comfort and such will matter more than your preferences.
Even so, your major hurdle will be their life experience. Women will be walled in, emotionally distant, drink or get high a surprising lot. They may be vengeful drama-llamas looking for a quick hookup to get back at a guy (yes, even at forty-something), or may be dishonest about weight, age, drug history, children etc. do not expect things to be smooth, because they will not be.