It don’t matter how often you say I’m black and I’m proud, it just ain’t easy finding someone who understands what it means to be black in this world, not someone who wants the same things you do, wants love, commitment, but doesn’t want to lose their culture and who they are to get it.
You can hook up easy enough, but getting that life long loyalty requires work, and if you’re a well educated black man or black woman who loves their career, meeting people with the same goals and drives is going to mean stretching out of your comfort zone. There are just not enough black people doing what you do, who understand where you’re coming from – no matter what your family background and upbringing, getting judged by your skin is a fact of life. This is why dating sites that are designed to for black people are a thing, just click here to see what some of the top dating sites actually look like.
Don’t Judge Me by My Skin Color
Look, you will get this, but being black and being attracted to someone who’s black is OK! Being black and attracted to someone who’s white is OK. Honestly, it really doesn’t matter who you are attracted to, who what things you find sexy in another person, but what matters is actually being able to find the person with all those traits.
You might be able to scan through a dating site looking for the right look, but with some of them it is so easy to miss profiles, and there are so many profile pictures that are badly lit or poorly posed to the point you can barely tell they’re human and not a tree.
You can get sites that are really only for black people, but that doesn’t mean that you won’t find white folks or others who have a preference for brown skin than anything else. With some websites you will also get the option to really fine tune what you are looking for you the search criteria, not just sexual orientation or gender, but detailed preferences in appearance as well as hobbies and interests. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2999910/
Over Achievers and Wedding Bells
Whether you are already successful or just about to make it into the big leagues, trying to find someone who shares not only your interests but who can be a partner to your desire to succeed can be hard. You probably have friends who were lucky enough to meet that perfect someone while they were studying, but that unfortunately isn’t the case for everyone – and not everyone’s idea of a perfect match is someone with the same alma mater, sometimes you crave someone who can bring new experiences and circles to the relationship.
Depending on your career you may not have even had time to meet anyone, let alone had the time required to develop a meaningful relationship – any high achiever working in science, finance, law, medicine, as well as a range of other professions, knows that free time is not only short, but can come at unsocial hours.
This is one of the great advantages of using a dating site – you can meet people and get to really know them in your own time. Although most have instant messaging systems, you can also leave a message and respond to any received in your own time. Explain in your profile that you currently work long hours, that this is to help you achieve certain goals, and you are looking for someone with similar goals and ambitions –or someone who wants to be in a position to be your right hand and support you while you support them in fulfilling their dreams.
While it may not be a conventional way of dating, leaving video messages can also be anentertaining and exciting way to develop a relationship that is built not only on understanding, but spontaneity and fun.
What Should You Say?
Your life is probably pretty full on, but that doesn’t mean you don’t want someone to come home to each night (or at least the nights you do get to go home).
For many professional African-Americans in your position they have met someone in highschool or university and the relationship has just continued (although, see this), but you will often find that their relationships starts to show the strain of having to adapt to both parties leading full on, high stress lives. People change as they grow older, what was important at 18 is different to what is important at 28, and certainly there are different priorities at 38. Rather than feeling that you have missed out on something by not developing those romantic relationships earlier, appreciate that you are now in a position to meet someone who understands where you are now, and will be able to meet the needs you have at this stage of your life.